The inconvenience of life

I want to have a full and joyful life.

I want to have a life overflowing with laughter, movement, grace and love – and inconvenience.

I chose marriage. I chose motherhood. I chose writing. I chose to share my motherhood journey in front of strangers. I chose to work from home. My choices have brought me tremendous joy, but the joy that comes within these roles isn’t easy. It’s hard work, fraught with inconvenience.

As I feverishly type away (to meet a deadline) the ringing doorbell startles me. The dogs, roused from their midday nap, bark and slip-slide along the tile floor slamming into the door. I shush the dogs, who emit low growls, but I do not move from my chair.

My son yells: “Mom! I need you!” It’s after five and I’m searching the internet for something that may or may not be essential to a story. When I don’t stop and immediately answer his call, he shouts again. Later, my son tells me I need a computer time limit after he’s home from school so I know when to stop.

My husband pops his head into my “office” (formerly the dining room) to say hello. I’m sitting at my desk talking aloud, trying to edit a story. I’m not ready to take a break. 

I receive a summons for jury duty. My billable time is now at the mercy of my good citizenship requirement. 

One afternoon, my retina detaches. I have emergency surgery (with a needle). I have to lay on my right side to hold the gas bubble in place for three days. I get behind on editing an article.

When you start to want to live your life fully instead of opting for death, you discover that life itself is inconvenient.” – Pema Chödrön

Like a tiny pebble lodged in your shoe as you are walking along the path of life at a nice clip – you don’t want to slow down or stop. But you have to stop and remove the pebble, which is  really irritating your foot and ruining a perfectly good walk with your dog.

The good news is that your dog will wait for you to remove whatever it is that’s bothering you. For a few more minutes, the sun will continue to shine. The air will remain still and sweet with the scent of early spring. Once you stop for a moment to reorganize and redirect yourself, you can keep moving forward in life and take on whatever else comes with it. 

The pebble is an inconvenience that reminds you to stay humble and open your heart. 

What do you think?

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